Day 35 - Illusion of Scale
I don’t know if I’d call this a breakthrough but I can’t think of what else to call it. Fair warning, this one could hurt a little bit.
- Illusion of Scale
Here’s what I’m noticing. Most of what really inspires, moves and motivates me is Really Freakin’ Expensive and constitutes an investment. I find I want to put money toward things that will ultimately create more money. Now, the creation of it isn’t necessarily about the money it makes, although that’s nice. Its more about the contribution it is in the world.
I’m not very interested in building smelly manufacturing plants or selling high-brow complications that waste people’s time. I’ve mentioned here that I have a Serious interest in making this game into an online place to play and a couple friends and I are tinkering with that. But I also find I want to invest in a film project of mine, I want to invest in an information product of mine, and I want to invest in alternative infrastructure solutions, from energy to experiences.
I went through this the first week, when I was chopping a few thousand dollars into a bunch of checks. It isn’t to say that tens of thousands every day isn’t enough, it just doesn’t meet the scale of desire I have right now. Which is why I’m stumbling on an Illusion of scale.
There’s a scale of things that help me realize a near-term Joy. And there is a scale of what looks like will help me realize ongoing Joy.
The other thing I know is that this experience I’m having of this game is highly human. I know there are people playing this at home, or in closed online systems. (Yes, there is a game out there and I’m adding it to the tools section in a few days.) But I haven’t seen anyone do this out in the open, or with their friends, in a way that is as vulnerable as this is.
It is making me somewhat fearless.
The other thing it is opening my eyes to, and this is where I might lose you, is that everything is the same as everything else. My perception of scale, my perception of time, my perceptioon of Joy is what changes. Joy is. It isn’t small or big. I let in what I am willing to let in.
Pricing on little fun and big fun is also Scaled. There is a price gap between immediate fun and bigtime fun. The price difference between flying across the ocean and flying across the atmosphere (into space) is pretty big. Smaller than it used to be, but still, pretty big.
So, those of us used to playing at a day to day level look at things with big price tags, and don’t grow past what’s close at hand. I’ve done it until now, and I’m done. I see the illusion.
Why on Earth would I let a price gap stand between me and Joy? Between me and creativity, contribution, expression? That would be stupid. And I’m not stupid. Just well trained in some poor habits.
So, today, I’m spending $35,000 on the most useless thing I can think of, knowing that the Big Joy stuff is already funded and on its way. Here’s where my judgemental side gets exposed.
- That is kinda hot.
What do I deem useless? Well, I’m glad you asked. I’ll couch this as well as I can. I think make-up is pretty useless. Why women, who are generally super smart, coat themselves in paint and scent made from mistreated animals, crushed up flowers, and complex chemical strings is beyond me. Guys only do that when they are going into battle. And then they use mud, blood, and other crap. Seriously. (Way too big of a topic to get into here.)
But here’s the weird part. Women have been enhancing themselves for Eons and they probably always will. I can’t imagine them letting go of that willingly. And at the same time there’s a whole movement of women who don’t want to “have to” wear makeup to feel good enough about themselves to leave the house. So, for me, its a never-ending cycle of self-esteem issues and I’m not going to try to understand it all today.
I’m going to bow to the invisible and ancient wisdom of women and spend $35,000 on makeup for all the women in my life (Moms, Aunts, Grandmas, Sisters, Sisters-In-Law, Room Mates, Cousins, and Co-Workers). I hear good things about Mac, so, the 35 women within closest reach to me each get a $1000 gift certificate to the Mac counter at Nordy’s.
Have fun ladies.